|
|
|
10 Simple Ways to Turn Your Creative Spark into a Flame
Creativity and innovation begin with the spark of an idea. But for so many, the process ends there with no plan to manifest. Understanding simple ways to turn your ideas into action will give you the edge to turn that spark to a flame and rise as a...
3 ELEMENTS TO A DEAL-SEALING CLASSIFIED AD
Have you ever wondered why your perfectly fine classified ad fails to attract the attention you desire? There should be dozens-no, hundreds-of perspective buyers swamping your e-mail inbox with offers. After all, you are offering a mint baseball...
5 Insider Beauty Secrets Other Women Don’t Want You To Know! Part 1
Imagine what you would do if you knew miracle working beauty secrets. And what you would do if you had the self confidence that comes with being beautiful. No need to imagine any more, read this article and turn your dreams into ...
Change Your Thinking
Autumn in New England is a sensual experience. Wood-smoke fires fill the night sky with ghostly images. The air is scented with ready-to-pick apples and burning oak from hearth fires. Maple trees don their cloaks of red, orange and yellow for one...
Invest in Your Health
What if a trusted friend were to tell you about an investment where you could not possibly go wrong...what would be your reaction? And what if there was a virtual mountain of credible information that supported the investment claims...wouldn't you...
Memories, Meanings, and Lessons for Life
Some places just feel like home even if you’ve never lived there. I can feel calm settle over me as I turn from the highway and see St. Joseph Convent perched in its solid position above the Pennsylvania Dutch countryside. Its three-story arms...
Optimism: How To Avoid Negative Thinking
Have you ever wondered why some people feel down and defeated when faced with difficult situations, while others feel challenged and hopeful? Or why some people get all worked up and angry over small inconveniences and disagreements, while others...
What Dreams May Come
What Dreams May Come Some years ago I read a brilliant book, What Dreams May Come, whose storyline was that in the plasmic substance of the afterworld, people perceive only the reality created by their thoughts, beliefs and expectations. They live...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Endings Are Beautiful Too
Endings Are Beautiful Too
Helaine Iris
© 2003
“To be able to look at change as an opportunity to grow--that is the secret to being happy.” Joan Lunden
As I stepped outside this morning for my daily power walk the brisk October air braced my cheeks. The deep, fragrant aromas of wood smoke and dying leaves; autumn in New England filled me with an unexpected joy and appreciation for the season. I looked around at the spectacular, vivid color of the trees. My sneakers kicked through the crinkly red, orange and brown piles waiting to be raked. I remembered that I use to hate fall.
Fall meant death, the end of summer, my favorite time of year. I was a summer person flourishing in the bounty of life at its fullest. Every year, falls approach signaled to me an ending, a time to let go and I didn’t look forward to it.
As I was walking and breathing deeply in the beauty of the morning I began to experience my relationship with the changing seasons as a metaphor for my life. I began to think about how well we as a culture celebrate birth, youth and new beginnings and how we’re taught to fear death, change and endings.
Recently, I had an experience where my affiliation with an organization dear to me was complete. It had become clear that it was time to let go and move on. The change would mean a decrease of revenue, as well as a loss of supportive associates. Naturally, I was conflicted about making the decision to leave and felt some pain in the separation. I wondered how I would compensate for the change, and what I would replace the emptiness with where a once thriving opportunity lived.
Then yesterday, I worked with a client who absolutely hates her job. She dreads going to work each day and is miserable, yet with growing certainty is clear she needs a career change. She’s been struggling with this dilemma for months and is terrified to take a step to change her life.
What became clear was the enormous resistance most of us have to change and how much suffering it causes in our lives.
Is your first impulse to avoid change or to resist endings and hold on to something longer
than is healthy or useful?
Here is a practice that helps me make friends with endings and change:
1. Start by looking into your past. Can you honestly say that any change you’ve made didn’t leave you in a better place than you imagined? By realizing this you will build positive evidence that change is most often a good thing.
2. Next, take an inventory of what you are afraid to let go of. What do you think you might lose by ending or changing your situation? You might be right, AND, by bringing what you fear into the light you can more realistically evaluate if it is a true consideration or simply a fear.
3. Now, look at what you are making the change mean. For example, “I’m a failure at relationships”, I’ll never be satisfied with any job, I’ll regret…” Ask yourself and see if these self-defeating statements are really true.
4. Finally, make a list of all the possible benefits to be gained by making the change. Also consider how this change could benefit those in your world. If you were happier or less stressed, what would the ripple effect be?
By using this practice I let go of my business affiliation. I took a deep breath and moved on. Within about two weeks I had a new opportunity full of promise and excitement drop into my lap.
I’m learning to appreciate change and endings much in the way I find the colors of fall leaves beautiful. The dying of leaves produces the breathtaking color. Without it there would be no chance of birth and new beginnings in the spring.
Fall. Bring it on. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!
About the Author
Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher that loves her life. She works with individuals, and self-employed professionals, who want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values and gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For a solution focused complimentary session visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or call her 603-357-8546 or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
