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A Nature Meditation
A Nature Meditation Robert Elias Najemy You are sitting by a quietly flowing stream in the countryside. It is spring and life is green and moist? Sitting on a rock, the sights and sounds of the flowing water begin to work their mysterious way into...
An Intimate Approach to Beauty
An Intimate Approach to Beauty
In this article we return to a time when beauty was defined in natural terms. An almost time-forgotten sensual approach to self-care, with simple rituals that will pamper you from the inside out. Where beauty was...
Belly Dancing for the Midlife Soul
Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish this article in its entirety, electronically, or in print fre*e of charge, as long as you include my full signature file for ezines, and my Web site address(http://www.schrift.com) in hyperlink for...
Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment?
Do you really want to live better for less? Are you anxious to make your money go further? Do you want to develop a strategy to help your family live the good life -- on a budget? I am sure you do -- Why else would you be reading this article?...
Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life
A friend once said to me, "There is no meaning in life, except what we create". At the time, I thought she was nuts. Now, I understand. What is the meaning of your life? Some will say that it is to glorify God. Others will say to do good and make...
How do I clean my cosmetic brushes?
Brushes are often overlooked. We use them then simply throw them back in our make-up case not caring much for the condition we leave them. This is usually the reason why the brushes we buy do not last as long as we hoped for. Armando's Brushes last...
It’s the Most Wonderful Gift of the Year
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. As we deck the halls and fill the malls, we’re filled with anticipation, joy, and excitement. The holiday season is upon us, and it’s a special time we choose to show our appreciation and share our love with...
NATURAL APPROACH TO MENOPAUSE
Menopause may cause women to feel some hormonal changes in their body since their estrogen levels decline. The sudden change in hormones may result in any of the following symptoms: hot flushes, depression, irritability, mood swings, irregular...
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How to Shmooze
Copyright 2005 Mark Meshulam
Definition: talk idly or casually in a friendly way
Value: priceless
Gearheads like me have trouble understanding that great ideas and hard work aren't enough... you gotta shmooze too. Every day we deal with peculiar life forms called "humans", and they have needs beyond the performance of tasks. They like to connect on a human level, too.
Even non-gearheads need this reminder. Sometimes they are trying so hard to get the job done, or are just uncertain and uncomfortable, that they forget to blend this critical element into their work.
Have you ever been frustrated seeing a back-slapping moron doing very well in business, while you, the much more capable one, are struggling? Then these ideas are for you. When working with customers, vendors or co-workers, try this:
1. Don't start by diving into the task. Spend a couple sentences warming up first. A simple "How was your weekend?" followed by listening to the answer, will start the interaction on a human level.
2. When you listen, listen also for the emotional tone of the response and respond to it. Example: if the person is harried, consider saying, "Hey, you look like you are under a lot of pressure right now... what can I do to help?" And mean it. And try to help.
3. Sprinkle the person's name into your conversation once or twice. People pay more attention when they hear their name. And it brings you closer to her.
4. Smile and relax. Putting yourself in a good, balanced attitude will help her get there too.
5. Don't take yourself too seriously. Recognize that we are all imperfect and struggling. Share a bit of your struggle and recognize theirs. Example:
"Wow, I tried so hard to get this done, but it was really tough. I know you must be having a hard time with your part of it, too. "
5. Create alliances as opposed to adversity. In business we are constantly trying to get someone else to do what we want them to do. Frame your request against a backdrop of mutual benefit. Instead of, "I need this...", try "In order for us to reach our goal, I can accomplish this if you can do that."
6. Observe people you consider to be good shmoozers. Note what behaviors are effective and try to add them to your skill set. The art here is to still be yourself at the same time. Think of it as an adjustment to your approach rather than a complete redo. If you have been a vocal non-golfer, don't suddenly morph into Tiger Woods overnight and expect to be taken seriously.
7. Try to gain a clear vision of the difference between who you are, and what you do. The former is called personality, the latter is called behavior. Personality is very close to your core. Behavior is actions which you undertake. Developing shmoozing skills involves experimentation with your behavior.
But the real beauty of working on your shmoozing is that the positive responses you will get from others will, in turn, be gratifying to you. And this response will make you happier and more successful, which in turn will go right to your core.
What started out as developing a business skill has a real chance of actually enhancing your life. Is there a reason to wait?
Mark Meshulam offers a unique suite of productivity software at www.poingo.com/">http://www.poingo.com, and an interesting, informative blog at www.poingology.com/">http://www.poingology.com
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