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Addiction to Perfection
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title: Addiction to...
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Traditional Sadness
Can any good thing come out of Galilee? That was the thinking of the Pharisees. But the greatest miracle worker and preacher came from there. Don't you know him? If you don't, you are just like most Jews who still await the coming of the messiah. Of course he will come like a thief in the night, but that would be his second coming. Hope you are not surprised?
Unlike many dyed in the wool Jews, don't be surprised that Jesus' will continue to spring forth from another Galilee—Nigeria. Don't be surprised that one of the best selling authors, whose books will one day have a place of pride in your library, is a Nigerian. I won't mention her name. Or rather, "his" name. At least you are familiar with some of them who have laid down traditions for others to follow. If you are not, then let's walk down memory lane.
Wole Soyinka, a Nigerian, won the Nobel Prize years back. Nineteen years ago to be precise. Dele Olojede, a former foreign editor of Newsday Newspaper in New York, won the Pulitzer Prize this year for his story titled "Genocide's Child," a report that looked back at the civil war in Rwanda.
I was on the Internet the other day when I came across Fatima Musa. Her name sounds Nigerian. Though I'm not really sure if she is. But from the story of her life, she is very much related to Nigeria. Peradventure she is not, then her ancestors must have been "stolen from Africa" like Bob Marley, sang.
Another border I will not fail to cross is the Booker Prize. Ben Okri, who wrote the Famished Road, won the Booker some years ago. Still on the same path, Helen Oyeyemi (a teenager) is also coming out from London onto the literary stage with the publication of her first book, the Icarus Girl.
And from his homeland, the controversial writer, Arthur Zulu, is riding high in the writers' world with his books How To Write a Best Seller and Chasing Shadow! Or, you don't know him? If you don't, go to a search engine, type his name and you would be surprised at what you will find. I want to believe he is laying a tradition, very different from others, for many generations to come.
Apart from these great names I have mentioned, there are others lost in the crowd. Those who think six syllables names won't sell a books. So like Eric Blair (George Orwell) and Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) they have invented names which will stick on their readers' minds. These—lost in the crowd Nigerians—are either moving with tradition or breaking it.
In Oxford University, the school's tradition is believed to add to its beauty. If a student, knowingly or unknowingly, breaks any of the rules, there is always a consequence.
I remember in high school some boys and I broke a rule. And we paid the consequence—we had to mow the lawn for a week. That was the school's tradition. But in Nigeria, every tribe has its customs and traditions, the consequences for breaking these rules could go as far as excommunication, or even, death.
In Nigeria, when a child is born, it has to wait eight days before it gets a name. A ceremony is held—after some rituals—welcoming all extended family members,
including those toothless old men and women leaning on canes carved from ancient trees. For the ceremony, salt, sugar, sugarcane, honey, alligator pepper, and kola nuts are produced. And the child would have a taste of these items with some prayers said.
The names of the child do not come from only the parents. The grandparents have the privilege of naming the child as well. For some children who have great grandparents, they definitely will get many names: names they may never remember. Some are lucky to get just two names. Because the grand parents are dead. The funny thing about some names is that they could be a "three in one" name.
Not that I'm against someone having a hundred names, but most Nigerians don't get jaw friendly names like George Bush. Or Bill Clinton.
I overheard a Nigerian traditional chief saying, "What's the meaning of Bush? Jungle or forest? And Gates is what? But a name like Oluwafemi means God loves me. Oluwatoyin means God be praised. Our names are names that make sense." I agree with him.
Whether a name has a meaning or not is not the issue. But how could tradition be so cruel to even have to decide the kind of wife or husband to marry. Or where he or she comes from? For better understanding, I will put myself in a Nigerian's shoes.
If I came a long way to impress a girl and finally having her fall in love with me and if I bring her before my parents, according to tradition, so they could meet my future wife, all I might end up hearing is, "she isn't right for you." Not because they feel she wouldn't make a good wife but because she is from a tribe which came in conflict with my tribe in the sixteenth century. Or I can't marry her because her ancestors were Muslims. Though she herself has changed her faith.
I know the Bible says, "Parents know better," (Paraphrased) but do they have to inflict on their children the sins of the past? Do they have to take away my source of happiness?
You might say "I could marry her against their will." Yes, I thought of that. But those who did that end up miserable for the rest of their lives.
And, if I eventually let go of that beautiful girl who never turned out to be my wife and I marry someone else, tradition comes in again if she has no male child. For she is required to give me a son that would continue the family lineage. I might be unmoved by this, but tradition would not forgive her as they expect me to take another wife.
If from childhood to adulthood children are subjected to tradition, when then do they learn to be governed by their hearts or minds? When can they make decisions that would bring them a lifetime of happiness?
I am still trying to figure that out as an adult under this same tradition.
Coming soon, "Haiku with love"
An inspiring poetry collection by A.Z. Alfred.
To be published by Author House, USA.
for his works goto:www.writesight.com/blackzeal101
or mailto: blackzeal101@yahoo.com
About the Author
A.Z. Alfred is a writer and a motivational speaker whose greatest pleasure is observing the world through a window while listening to inspirational songs.
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